i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
