I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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