At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
