..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
