69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
