I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i can't believe i had my finger in that
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
