Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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