So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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