so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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