could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
