She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
