I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
