TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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