So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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