I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
