I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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