you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
