Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
