You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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