why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
