her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
