im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
