Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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