Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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