that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
