i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's just like the Real World with babies
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
