I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He did a backflip because drugs
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
