If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
