a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
