Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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