Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
