nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Randomize
