Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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