I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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