I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I need to calm my uterus...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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