You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
