he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
