Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize