hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
