so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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