what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This is the prime rib incident all over again
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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