i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
