After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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