He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
