I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
