And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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