She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
