why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you will always have a special place in my vag
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Rumble strips road head = magical
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
