I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
