Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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