me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
