his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
