shes about as inviting as chlamydia
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
