Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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