the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
