you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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