fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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