It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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