Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
