Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
