You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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