cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
