All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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