no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
